Many forces have changed my personality and have shaped who I really am today. One force that has shaped my personality would be my mother's force. Ever since I was born, I was raised with morals and values. My mother takes manners quite seriously and she drilled them upon myself and other siblings. She cannot tolerate lying, therfore I have been raised to tell the truth and be respectful to others. I believe that my values make up a huge part of who I am. Another force that has shaped my life is the force of my father. My dad is very tough, so he has tought me to also be tough. Although I am a girl, he has shaped my personality to not be so high mantienance, but to be more relaxed in all situations. My brother was also a big force in my life because of all he has achieved. I have learned from his experiences and his motivation to achieve all that he could. I have also learned from his mistakes and how to avoid making the same mistakes in order to get farther in life. When I was little, I played soccer for the York Youth Soccer League, in which I learned alot from playing a team sport. Soccer was a force in my life because I learned team building skills and good sportsmanship. Due to the fact that I started playing when I was young, I have used these skils many times in my life. Another sport that was a huge force in my life was tennis. Tennis is a little different from other sports because although you are on a team, you play the match individually. Playing an individual sport has taught me to rely and believe in myself in order to win the match. I have gained confidence from playing tennis because I need to be confident in myself and my playing ability. My transition from middle school into high school was also a big force in my life because of everything I learned the first year of my high school career. During my freshman year, I learned my place in the school. All freshman think they are the next best thing and that they are going to come up and rule the school. However, that did not happen because I learned that there are tons of other people who are better than me at many different activities and subjects, and I was not the best thing since sliced bread. I also matured after entering the high school and I learned how to act in different situations that I was not aware of before. Another force in my life would have to be my friends. Having long friendships has helped me become who I am today. Many of my friends over the years have influenced me to do great things, and they have also been there everytime that I needed them. I am known amoung my friends to be reliable, which is a great compliment to me. I am glad that I can help them through anything just like they can help me. During the past couple years, music has also become a big part of my life. Music is a great force in my life because I can listen to the heart felt lyrics, and know that everything is going to be alright. Music helps me through a lot of difficult times in my life because after listening to the lyrics, I know that I am not the only one going through a hard time. A year ago, my family adopted a dog named Max from the local SPCA. During the past year, Max has been a force in my life because I never had a pet animal before, besides a goldfish. Max has taught me to be loving and loyal to animals, and although I was not a big animal fan before, I am now. Since adopting Max, I have started volunteering at the SPCA to help out the other abandoned animals in need. The last force that has shaped me into the person I am today is the purchase of my own car. I was told from the beginning that my parents would not be paying for my first car, and that I would need to save money if I wanted to buy a car of my own. Now that I have bought my own car, I have learned to take care of my belongings, and how to be responsible for what I have. I have also learned how to manage my money, or else I would not have been able to afford my car. I am very proud that I have bought my own car, and due to the fact that I used my own money to purchase it, I take very good care of it. These are the ten forces that have shaped my personality and my life, and I'm sure there will be many more forces to come. Some may be bad, and some will hopefully be good, however they will shape my life and my personality in all of my years to come.
Tori-
I really enjoyed your paragraph. It seems like your family had a big role in shaping who you are. I also really enjoyed your last sentence it was a wonderful way to end your thoughts and it is also very true because not everything that shapes us is positive. I'm glad that you became an animal person because animals rock. And my favorite part of this paragraph was the ode to sliced bread! My only critiques are that buying your own car is a terrible life experience not a positive one, I think you got a little mixed up there, but it's okay. Also there were a few spelling errors (tought-> taught, amoung-> among). But otherwise it was a really good essay!
-Andrés March
Tori, there are many forces that I can relate to you about. One is soccer, since I used to play soccer when I was younger, I can definitely see where you are coming from explaing teamwork and how you used your knowledge of that throughtout your life. Another is music, honestly music is a great way to help through difficult times so thank you for reminding me how useful it can be. I didnt know that you adopted a dog or had any pets for that matter so its nice to see how you used Max as a big influence in your life. Congrats on taking the responsibility of buying your own car!! Overall, I really enjoyed reading your paragraph!!
Many forces have changed my personality and have shaped who I really am today. One force that has shaped my personality would be my mother's force. Ever since I was born, I was raised with morals and values. My mother takes manners quite seriously and she drilled them upon myself and other siblings. She cannot tolerate lying, therfore I have been raised to tell the truth and be respectful to others. I believe that my values make up a huge part of who I am. Another force that has shaped my life is the force of my father. My dad is very tough, so he has tought me to also be tough. Although I am a girl, he has shaped my personality to not be so high mantienance, but to be more relaxed in all situations. My brother was also a big force in my life because of all he has achieved. I have learned from his experiences and his motivation to achieve all that he could. I have also learned from his mistakes and how to avoid making the same mistakes in order to get farther in life. When I was little, I played soccer for the York Youth Soccer League, in which I learned alot from playing a team sport. Soccer was a force in my life because I learned team building skills and good sportsmanship. Due to the fact that I started playing when I was young, I have used these skils many times in my life. Another sport that was a huge force in my life was tennis. Tennis is a little different from other sports because although you are on a team, you play the match individually. Playing an individual sport has taught me to rely and believe in myself in order to win the match. I have gained confidence from playing tennis because I need to be confident in myself and my playing ability. My transition from middle school into high school was also a big force in my life because of everything I learned the first year of my high school career. During my freshman year, I learned my place in the school. All freshman think they are the next best thing and that they are going to come up and rule the school. However, that did not happen because I learned that there are tons of other people who are better than me at many different activities and subjects, and I was not the best thing since sliced bread. I also matured after entering the high school and I learned how to act in different situations that I was not aware of before. Another force in my life would have to be my friends. Having long friendships has helped me become who I am today. Many of my friends over the years have influenced me to do great things, and they have also been there everytime that I needed them. I am known amoung my friends to be reliable, which is a great compliment to me. I am glad that I can help them through anything just like they can help me. During the past couple years, music has also become a big part of my life. Music is a great force in my life because I can listen to the heart felt lyrics, and know that everything is going to be alright. Music helps me through a lot of difficult times in my life because after listening to the lyrics, I know that I am not the only one going through a hard time. A year ago, my family adopted a dog named Max from the local SPCA. During the past year, Max has been a force in my life because I never had a pet animal before, besides a goldfish. Max has taught me to be loving and loyal to animals, and although I was not a big animal fan before, I am now. Since adopting Max, I have started volunteering at the SPCA to help out the other abandoned animals in need. The last force that has shaped me into the person I am today is the purchase of my own car. I was told from the beginning that my parents would not be paying for my first car, and that I would need to save money if I wanted to buy a car of my own. Now that I have bought my own car, I have learned to take care of my belongings, and how to be responsible for what I have. I have also learned how to manage my money, or else I would not have been able to afford my car. I am very proud that I have bought my own car, and due to the fact that I used my own money to purchase it, I take very good care of it. These are the ten forces that have shaped my personality and my life, and I'm sure there will be many more forces to come. Some may be bad, and some will hopefully be good, however they will shape my life and my personality in all of my years to come.
Tori-
I really enjoyed your paragraph. It seems like your family had a big role in shaping who you are. I also really enjoyed your last sentence it was a wonderful way to end your thoughts and it is also very true because not everything that shapes us is positive. I'm glad that you became an animal person because animals rock. And my favorite part of this paragraph was the ode to sliced bread! My only critiques are that buying your own car is a terrible life experience not a positive one, I think you got a little mixed up there, but it's okay. Also there were a few spelling errors (tought-> taught, amoung-> among). But otherwise it was a really good essay!
-Andrés March
Tori, there are many forces that I can relate to you about. One is soccer, since I used to play soccer when I was younger, I can definitely see where you are coming from explaing teamwork and how you used your knowledge of that throughtout your life. Another is music, honestly music is a great way to help through difficult times so thank you for reminding me how useful it can be. I didnt know that you adopted a dog or had any pets for that matter so its nice to see how you used Max as a big influence in your life. Congrats on taking the responsibility of buying your own car!! Overall, I really enjoyed reading your paragraph!!
- Marissa Maravilla
Untouchable
By: Mulk Raj Anand